living diary

Aside from a nagging toothache, break-ups are one of the shittiest and toughest thing to endure in life. Just ask my BBW-BFF, Mikee who recently called it quits with her boo of 14 years a couple of weeks ago. Though she is handling it pretty well, there are the occasionial torturous days of loneliness and anxiety that I’m sure most of you homo sapiens have experienced before. As much as I wanted to give my comfort in her time of misery 24/7, It simply cannot happen due to the sad fact that I am also currently experiencing a lot of insurmountable pain (details would be revealed soon). So I agreed to become her living diary.  I receive daily updates of her life and her almost dispairing situation and the immediate remedy that she desperately needs to get out of it.

But it is not all melancholic messages. There are days when she sends these crazy texts on how she wants her life to be or what she aspires to become. Like this message i received last February 10 at 3:18 am.

 U Knw wat? I wnt 2hev a gud career n a gazillion businesses, own a big rental placen a nice cozy restaurant. I wna hev
a nice haws wd a pool so i cn hev a gr8 tym wid my own fmly. court 4my boys 2pctis in so they cn b a jock wen they grow up,
big garden so sat my gurls cn run around screaming, a nice outdoor grill 4my husband so he cn make d perfect bbq N a gazebo 4me in d middle of d garden so dat i cn hev d perfect view 2watch ol of them. My kids r goin 2b in the best skul, lern a sport n art, they wil be cultured, god-fearing n they wil hev a gud hart, sharp mind, zest  pasion 4lyf. Myt b wishful thinking bt it cn hapen coz gud thngs happen 2gud ppl. So im goin 2pray thrice as hard so dat i dnt hev 2wish no more. B4 i breathe d last breath of my lyf, i wil b everythng dat i cn b n my name wil resound 2ppl around me n wil b inspired 2liv d lyf n dream i hev lived. Its no over til i say lyf s ovr. Faith n hope wil c me thru.

I wil b a blessng n touch ppl’s lyf, i will make a vital contribution 2ds society n wil make a change, i may not knw wat i am 2 do now bt i wil figure it out n find my purpose n lyf. I wil b hapi may it b acompanied wid d ups n downs, stl i wil 4evermore remain hapi. I wil hev a lhasa, apso, yorkie, syberian husky, running freely in my bkyard. Hel! Il even win d lotery! Ds s abwt dreaming aint it?! M dreaming big! God wil get me dat lotery money! God Lord, iv gone from dreamer 2 insane n jst seconds. C how sumstngs wrong wd me? I an iratic lunatic! Evn my precious dog, sebastian tinks m insane, he luks at me dfrently frm tym 2tym. God!

I nid 2 get away 4awyl. Collect my mind, fgure out wat my hart wnts n find d soul/spirit iv 1ns had. Coz how d hel cn i start reaching my dreams if my mind dsnt hev d dtrmination n persitence 2go 4it. hw cn i do dat if my hart lacks d pasion 4 me 2stick it out, n how cn i appreciate these thngs if my spirit had flown away frm me, if i hev no soul 2giv it wud maek me nothng. M a mesd up-lost-unemployed-confused-TMTH drama queen n broke ass bitch. Gr8! Wat mor cn i b?

Though I seldom text back to these messages, She knows that I have read them and completely understands how horrible her situation is. She asked me once if i get irritated by these messages, I said, “hell no! It is actually very entertaining.” I promised to publish this one day and become her biographer if she made it really big as a plus size model and assured her that this will be over soon and she is going gain back the fab life she once had.